It's All About Joy!

Feeling Prosperous

This is an excerpt from one of my favorite metaphysical books in a long time (and despite the title, it's not just for women!):

"Wealth is a matter of consciousness. The French have a legend giving an example of this. A poor man was walking along a road when he met a traveler, who stopped him and said, 'My good friend, I see you are poor. Take this gold nugget, sell it, and you will be rich all your days.'

"The man was overjoyed at his good fortune and took the nugget home. He immediately found work and became so prosperous that he did not sell the nugget. Years passed, and he became a very rich man. One day he met a poor man on the road. He stopped him and said, 'My good friend, I will give you this gold nugget, which, if you sell, will make you rich for life.' The beggar took the nugget, had it valued, and found it was only brass. So we see, the first man became rich through feeling rich, thinking the nugget was gold."

The Complete Writings of Florence Scovel Shinn for Women: Her Ageless Wisdom for Today

Resentment Is Ridiculous

I used to look at people who were more successful than me and envy them. Sometimes I was even resentful. This was especially true if whatever they had accomplished was something I wanted to accomplish for myself, but hadn’t gotten to yet. What I’ve learned recently, though, is how backwards my thinking was, and what’s more, as Wayne Dyer has said, I now know that there are no justified resentments.

Whenever I resented someone else’s success, I realize now it’s because I was looking through the eyes of lack. I felt I was missing something in my life, so when I looked at them in their joyfully abundant state, it reminded me that I didn’t have something I really wanted. That made me angry, and deep down probably fearful that I might never get what I really wanted.

But how silly it seems, since someone else’s success is actually a great reminder of just how much exists in this Universe for all of us. We live in an infinite Universe with more than enough wealth, success, love and joy for everyone. What’s more, each of us is here with a unique mission to fulfill that no one else can carry out exactly the way that we can. If they could, God wouldn’t have needed us, and I’m going to venture a bold guess by saying that as a result, God wouldn’t have put us here.

So rather than seeing someone else’s good fortune as my missed fortune, I now look at them with grateful, praising eyes and think, “There is more than enough for everyone.” I follow it up with, “What God has done for others, God now does for me and more.” When I affirm the success of others, I am essentially affirming it in me.

I wish the same for you: here’s to your incredible success and good fortune, and even more so, to your ever-expanding joy.

What about you? How do you feel about envy and resentment, and what role do they play in your life?

 

Giving Freely

Still Working to Put My Money Where My Mouth Is

I still have lessons to learn around giving without expectation. It’s rather funny how I tested myself recently in this regard.

A couple weeks ago I was having coffee with a friend and we were talking about people who ask for money on the streets. My friend preferred to buy the person a meal rather than give them cash. My opinion was the opposite. He was afraid of feeding their addiction by giving them money without knowing what they’d use it for. I told him I felt like it was none of my business; if I had what they needed and wouldn’t suffer by giving it to them, it was theirs to do with as they pleased.

My friend shook his head initially when I said that. He didn’t feel right supporting a drug addiction or alcohol problem. I told him that was all right for him. For me, though, I wouldn’t feel right asking someone to justify himself or herself when God knows I’m not above reproach. If they’re addicted, well so am I! Everyone is addicted to something. I don’t care if it’s drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes, approval, love, fitness, drama – it doesn’t matter! We’re all addicts. The egoic mind is the biggest addict imaginable.

From that perspective, the minute I say that my addiction is healthier or more acceptable than your addiction, it’s all over for me from an unconditional love standpoint. 

The very next day, I was given a chance to walk my talk where giving freely without judgment was concerned. I was on a city street with a different friend and we were approached by a guy who needed money. He had a whole story ready for us about how his car broke down, he needed money to buy a gas can, his daughter was with him in the car, etc. Both my friend and I asked how much the can would cost and he told us $9. We each gave him a few dollars. Without a thank you or anything else, he looked at us and said, “This isn’t enough! What am I going to do for the rest?”

At that point I found myself thinking, “Well how do you like that? We give him some money and all he can do is focus on what’s missing. Man, that just stinks.” Not ironically, it became clear to me that the very thoughts I was thinking were also centered on what was missing (his “thank you”). Funny how that works!

At that point I just sighed because I knew I had manifested an encounter with that guy, and I failed the very test I set up for myself. Rather than give him money happily, regardless of his reaction, I attached an expectation to it. I wanted a “thank you.” When I didn’t get one, I ran an alternate scenario through my head where I would have continued standing in front of him after he said, “It’s not enough!” and said, “How about a thank you? No? Well feel free to give back the money then.” (Again, big sigh.)

Funnier still, after I returned home that evening and checked my email, I had a notice in my inbox from an ad network I’m affiliated with telling me how much I earned during the last quarter. I saw it and thought, “That’s it?! That’s not enough!” (Are you rolling your eyes at me right now? I’d love to know, since I did, once the irony struck me 30 seconds later!) Yep, and checking the time on the email it would have corresponded to the same time I was dealing with my (now) friend on the street.
He was me; I was him. And man, what a lesson he taught me.

God help him, I hope he’s a quicker study than I am.

Be well, be joyful, and as best you can, give of yourself freely today!
 

Must Reads: Bloggers I Love

(Part I in what will likely be a long series!)

The best parts of my mornings are sending and receiving email and reading my favorite blogs. The list keeps growing since there is so much good content out there. Every so often I am compelled to just shout from the rooftops how wonderful I think all these people are who write about joy, love, and spirituality.

So consider this post a rooftop, and here’s me shouting some of my favorites:

Peggy at Serendipity Smiles wrote about overcoming her perfectionist tendencies and had this little gem of encouragement in there: “I don’t have to strive for  perfection today, tomorrow or next week. I’m perfect just as I am…I can be a four today, a five tomorrow, a two on Friday.  It’s all good.”
Click to read Dreaming Perfection

Jodi at Joy Discovered wrote about truth – what it is and what it isn’t (and how we frequently mistake non-truths for truth). If you want an eye-opening read, you absolutely have to check out this post. Here’s a great snippet from it, “…how many times have you recounted an incident, and as much as you try to tell only the truth you realize it is quite impossible; you realize that without the other person about whom you are reporting sitting there with you, recounting her side exactly as she experienced it, you don’t actually know the truth. In those situations you realize there is a difference between facts and perceptions.”
Click to read The Truth Will Set You Free

Positively Present always has a fresh energy in what she writes, and this post, in particular, took me all the way back to childhood. See for yourself how growing up is optional.
Click to read Growing Up Is Optional

Nadia at Happy Lotus writes so compellingly and with such peace and love... From day 1, I've been a fan. She wrote a post about the myth of perfectionism, which I loved since I’m a recovering perfectionist. If you find yourself falling into this category, her post is a must-read.
Click to read My Perfection Myth
 
Liara at Dream Builders Australia had the most fantastic post about dis-ease in our bodies, and how to not only view it differently, but in some cases, undo it. If you’ve suffered anything from a cold to emergency surgery, this post has something in it for you.
Click to read 7 Ways to Re-frame Apparent Dis-ease

Mark at The Naked Soul (love that title, by the way!) dissected the topic of self-worth in this post called “What Is Our Value?” Do we use money, love, or other external circumstances to determine how valuable we are? Or can we go inside and recognize that simply by being alive, we’re more worthwhile than we ever dreamed?
Click to read What Is Our Value?

Tess at The Bold Life had a guest blogger (Jan Lundy) who wrote a fabulous post describing how the first 30 minutes of our day sets the tone for how the rest will go. Did you know that? It made me grateful for my morning routine, which is infused with peacefulness and love. Read this to learn how to make more of your days enjoyable, right from the start. (And PS - Tess is also a brilliant writer... so I'll include one of the posts she wrote on Jan's blog here, as well!)
Click to read Mind Fitness: How About a Workout For a Healthy Mind
Click to read 75 Ways to Make The World a Better Place to Be

Oh my God, I laughed so hard when I first read about Millie on Suzen’s blog Erasing the Bored that I nearly fell off my chair. Millie is old, tells it like it is, and isn’t afraid to fart (that’s right… fart!). Please, please, please read this if you want some amazing “living right” advice and also want to laugh.
Click to read Millie Wisdom: Lessons in Living

Lance at The Jungle of Life writes inspiringly and gently, and quite often so succinctly that I’m awed. I absolutely loved this quote he shared from Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, and was greatly encouraged by it. If you’re looking to do what you love or find more meaning in life, read this!
Click to read Sunday Thought for the Day, June 21

Katie at You Can’t Say That on the Internet! is constantly writing from such a space of love – for both her life and her incredible partner, Patty – that I’m moved to tears. The love Katie and Patty share, and how they keep their love growing, is inspirational. The post Joyful Creators is a great testament to how they live their spirituality and love for one another right out loud, and in doing so, positively affect all of us who share this planet with them. Take a look.
Click to read Joyful Creators

And if you like food – to make or to eat – I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Patty’s site, affectionately called The Joyful Chef. I frequently read her step-by-step posts that are full of the most delicious pictures and think, “now I’m hungry.” Best of all, I’ve met Katie and Patty, who live on the opposite coast as me, and they’re even better and more delicious in-person than they are on their blogs! See what Patty’s been up to by reading her latest.
Click to read The Joyful Chef

There are more – my gosh there are more. So please know that this is just a start. I’ll be doing another “Man I love these bloggers” entry in the future and including even more of the fabulous writers who fuel my days and weeks with their brilliance, insights, and love.

For Love Or Money

I had a funny realization about money while running yesterday. It came up because in my life right now, I’m straddling a canyon, of sorts, and every so often I question which side I should be standing on. The two sides are thinking about joy, and the much more reliable feeling joy.

I’m quite a thinker, so you had better believe I intellectualize joy with the best of them. My mind will sometimes even try to convince me that doing certain things are more likely to bring joy than if I don’t do them.

Take going back to work, for example. In January I left a high-paying corporate job because I stopped enjoying it and it didn’t resonate with my authentic self. I didn’t have another job lined up, but I did have something much better: a dream. My dream, you see, is to make a living as a paid writer, spreading joy throughout the world by sharing what I’ve learned via my experiences. Six months ago, I would have even said “well paid writer,” but more and more these days I’d settle for comfortably paid if it means I could keep enjoying life as much as I have been lately.

Lately, my days are filled with only those people and things I love the most, and when I stay in that space of honoring my authentic self – the self that flipped the proverbial bird to Corporate America in favor of a dream – I feel incredible! I feel so good, as a matter of fact, that what used to be chronic migraines have disappeared completely. I laugh more than I ever used to and it bursts out spontaneously (not unlike another person I know and love a great deal). I wake up each morning excited to greet the new day – sometimes as early as 4:30 a.m. And I’ve never felt more grateful than I do now. Every moment feels like a miracle. I’m obligated to no one and nothing except living a life that is rooted in love.

Being the thinker I am, though, and having some very old programs that like to kick in every once in awhile, from time to time I feel guilty about my life. The familiar recording that says, “You should get a job” comes on, reminding me that I was raised to work hard and keep socking money away into a savings account. (I was definitely not raised to quit a good job and live off that savings account ‘just cuz’.)

And yes, sometimes my stinkin’ thinkin’ gets the best of me, hence straddling the canyon and a nasty inner thigh strain I developed as a result (no kidding!). But while on the treadmill yesterday, a thought flashed through my head that I can’t hug money, and lately I’m so in-love with life that I just want to hug everyone and everything! Love bubbles out of me and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever known.

So once I realized that I can’t hug money (or if I did, it wouldn’t hug back), I sort of let go of that guilt once and for all.

Besides, living joyfully is the best salary I’ve ever been paid and I know for certain no dollar amount can be put on feeling good.

** ** **  ** ** **  ** ** **

Soul Meets World had a fabulous post earlier this week that lends credence to what I wrote and felt above. Take a look and be entertained here: http://soulmeetsworld.com/2009/07/fishermans-tale.html

What “Lies” Beneath

So many of us are walking around attracting situations that don’t feel good to us – that cause us to stop and say, “Hey, wait a minute? Why do all these sucky moments keep showing up?”

I know in my own life, I’ve certainly experienced that. Being on a spiritual path you’d think I could sidestep some of that garbage, but no... Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m still human, so spirituality means less of an “up and over” and more of a “oh, so that’s why it’s happening to me…” It’s like having a brighter flashlight is all. 

That flashlight is helpful, though, because it lets me shine a spotlight on whatever mistruths I’ve been holding onto that continue to attract whatever I don’t want to my life.

One of the biggest challenges I’ve had to come to grips with in this life deals with romantic relationships. For a long time I couldn’t understand why they kept failing. What was I doing wrong? I had a knack for inviting only those people into my life who were most certain to be crapweasels. Why? I even had to ask a spiritually enlightened friend once what the heck was going on. You know what he said to me (as I sat there at the ripe old age of 30)? “I think it goes back to your dad.”

My response, “My dad? Come on. I’m 30! I’ve been actively studying spirituality for five years and have let all of that stuff go.”

Apparently not. Letting go from our conscious mind is one part of the equation. Letting go from our deep-seated unconscious mind is quite another. And believe me, if there are things showing up on the outside of your life that you don’t like but can’t consciously understand why they’re there, it’s time to turn to your subconscious. That’s where we store all that “lies” beneath.

The subconscious mind is like a machine. It doesn’t reason or filter – it accepts everything it’s told. True? False? It doesn’t care. It takes all of it. It’s also the part of us that controls our involuntary body functions (heart rate, metabolism, nerve response). So it’s a very necessary – if not indiscriminate – part of our minds.

The blessing and the curse of the subconscious mind is that, indeed, it takes in everything. If someone does something mean to us as a kid, and we never intercept and rewire our thinking to say “That was wrong; we deserve better,” then the subconscious mind will act on the belief that “mean” is okay and start to attract more stuff like it to us in the future. Likewise, if we’re only treated regally in our life, the subconscious stores that away and continues to attract similar treatment to us. (NOTE: There will also be the occasional outlying moments that don’t follow whatever pattern we’ve set up in our lives, and those serve either to steer us onto a better course, or to test our resolve. I like to call those Divinely Intended Moments.)

The good news is that the subconscious, being the machine that it is, can be reconditioned through things like affirmations, hypnosis, or new and repetitive experiences.

An example: When I was growing up I was a cute kid. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I clung tightly to the idea of “cute.” My brothers, when asked, would say, “Yeah, you’re cute. I wouldn’t say that you’re classically beautiful, but you’re very cute.” So in my mind, I just came to accept that I wasn’t beautiful, but I was cute. OK good. Well, in high school I really didn’t date much, and most of the people I attracted to me were not people I was ga-ga over. On top of that, I was never told in high school that I was beautiful – by anyone other than my mother (thank you, mom). Now cut to college. Someone was thrown onto my path (Divinely Intended Moment) who said, “You’re beautiful,” and I trusted him. In that moment, I began the subconscious rewiring process. Every time he said those words to me, I tucked them away and added them to my newfound belief and since then, have only attracted people to me who have used the “b” word. 

So how does your life look to you? What’s in your life that you like, and what’s there that you don’t? What “lies” could be operating beneath the surface that need you to shine a brighter light on? If you can’t understand why the things you dislike keep showing up, it might be time to investigate how your subconscious mind is wired. Think back to your childhood. That’s when most of our minds were initially programmed. Good, bad, right or wrong – kids are at the mercy of their parents, teachers, relatives and friends. We carry the imprint of what we learned, both directly and indirectly, with us throughout life.

If you can debunk some of what your subconscious has held onto and reprogram it (through affirmations, hypnosis, or new & repetitive experiences that you purposely seek out), you can begin to recreate the landscape of your life and make it as joyful as you ultimately want it to be.

Success As A Process, Not A Destination

“…the truth about success is that it’s really kinda boring. That’s because it’s not about the arrival. Success is about the choices you make each and every moment. Not each and every day.”
Christine Kane

I stumbled onto two new blogs recently:

• Gorgeous for God (http://gorgeousforgod.com)
• Christine Kane (http://christinekane.com/blog/)

Through Gorgeous for God, I found Christine Kane, who wrote about the boringness of success with such clarity and humor that it stayed with me for a few days. She talked about how most people think of success as something they arrive at: an ideal weight, a certain amount of money in the bank, the perfect relationship, etc. For her, though, it’s about the choices she makes in each moment of her life that continue to align her with the path she’s chosen.

She remarked, “When I am succeeding, it is just me and my relationship to the moment. This is not newsworthy. In fact, from the outside it looks downright boring. But on the inside, there’s an all-out ticker-tape parade in the streets of my head. Because I am choosing to do what matters to me. Because I am not listening to the gangs of critical voices that used to run my entire day. Because I am willing to sit there in spite of not knowing the outcome.”

I think about my own success, and how it took arriving at other people’s definition of it (a great job with great pay, for instance) before I realized I wanted to define success differently for myself. One thing I learned is that, as Christine Kane said, there is no “arrival.” Instead success is a process that each of us brings to life.

The process of success, for me, starts with honoring all of who I am (and consequently, none of who I’m not). I do this by pursuing those people, experiences and things that “feel good” on a moment-to-moment basis. As Wayne Dyer said, feeling good is feeling God, because all that God created is good. That’s how I stay aligned, and how I know I’m doing what is truly right for, and meaningful to, me.

When I’m living in accordance with my highest good, that’s success. That’s all I need to know to define it. As a result I feel deeply peaceful, and joy radiates throughout and from me.

What does success look like for you?

Find A Penny, Pick It Up (It Could Make You Rich)

I heard once that whenever a penny appears on the ground before you, it’s a sign from up above – aka, pennies from heaven. So, with that in mind, I’ve always acknowledged any pennies I see on the ground and give a sort of silent nod to whoever’s watching over me. 

A few weeks ago, though, I was listening to one of my spiritual mentors discuss abundance. He said that whenever he sees a penny on the ground, he picks it up and says “thank you” to the Universe for showing him a sign of abundance. This particular spiritual mentor happens to be a very wealthy man. He wants for nothing, and yet he’s grateful for everything – even pennies he finds on the ground.

Following his lead, a week later I found a penny on the ground in front of me. I picked it up and said, “Thank you for this sign of abundance.” Four hours later, I was taking a walk with a friend, talking about the differences between credit and debit cards. No sooner did the words, “…with debit cards, you can get cash back…” come out of my mouth than I looked down and saw a pile of dollar bills lying on the sidewalk directly in front of us. There were four dollars, total, and as my friend bent down to pick them up I said a huge “thank you” to the Universe in my mind.

Later, I told my partner what happened, first with the penny and then with finding four dollars. His response was something like, “That’s all well and good, Meg, but if that’s how you plan on becoming a millionaire, we need to talk.” I reassured him that going from a penny to four dollars in a few short hours was, indeed, a very good sign. After all, as I explained, with no work on my part I saw a 400% increase in the “abundance factor” of my life. Statistically speaking, that’s pretty darn good!

Here’s the thing: we live in an unlimited Universe with unlimited wealth. Most people like to think there’s a limit to how much wealth they can have. I used to be one of those people. I later came to learn, though, that it’s a matter of what we believe in. We either believe in abundance, or we believe in lack. Either way, we’re right (because our thoughts become things). If we believe in lack, we’re going to move about our lives in such a way that we gather evidence supporting our beliefs. The opposite is true, too. The minute we change our thinking to one of wealth and abundance (and subsequently, deserving wealth and abundance) we can actually change the circumstances of our life. This is something I had to do for myself starting about two years ago, and eventually I moved the needle far enough that I could sit back and say, “Holy cow, I’m rich!”

The trick is, we have to teach ourselves to become grateful for every sign of abundance, no matter how inconsequential it may seem at the time. The minute we thumb our noses at a sign of abundance the Universe has set in front of us, all bets are off. We might as well say, “No thank you! I only take abundance when it looks like this and NEVER like that.” No one likes a snob (not even the powers that be). Learn to be grateful for everything, and like my spiritual mentor, you, too, can become someone who has it all and wants for nothing.

Growing The Greatness We Have Through Gratitude

Today, I am thankful for everything in my life exactly as it is. Each day I have more than what I had the day before: more love, more friends, more compassion, more knowledge, more self-awareness, more money, more experiences... 

The best part is, I know that when I'm in a state of gratitude for these things, I'm in the state of growing these things.

And so the cycle continues!

Be well and joyful today, and go forth with great love in your heart, mind and intentions.

Balancing Act: Wealth From a Buddhist Perspective

In follow-up to the post I wrote last week (A Moment Of Wanting Less And Discovering That What I Have Is More Than Enough), I’ve been reading more about how Buddhists – who strive to live in the most balanced way possible – handle the idea of wealth. I’ve recognized this struggle in a friend of mine who introduced me to Buddhist philosophy, and he really does seem to have a tough time accumulating enough wealth to live comfortably. At one point, he was interested in learning more about manifesting abundance and asked me for some pointers. However, I sensed that deep down his beliefs prevented him from accepting the sort of wealth he dreamed of.

So does that mean devout Buddhists are destined to be poor? Goodness, I certainly hope not, but then again I’m saying that from the perspective of someone who isn’t yet enlightened enough to give up the notion of wanting “more” financially.

Where Is Some Of This Coming From?
Last Spring I manifested a significant increase in my wealth, and rather enjoyed the freedom that such additional resources afforded me. A few weeks ago, I relinquished what had been the temporary source of that increased wealth. So here I sit, pondering the delicate balancing act between having, doing and being more and finding contentment with what is.

In Lama Surya Das’s book, Eight Steps to Enlightenment: Awakening the Buddha Within (Tibetan Wisdom for the Western World), he refers to the famous Buddhist philosopher Nagarjuna, who said that contentment is true wealth.

“Success will not be found through the gratification of desire, but in the end of desire – which is contentment. Wealthy is he who enjoys what he has.”

I think most people who are on a journey of joy realize this. Sustained happiness doesn’t come from material possessions. Acquiring new things can bring momentary spikes in happiness, but won’t lead to long-term joy. After all, the moment one new thing is acquired, the mind is already onto something else – a new conquest it must have in order to keep the good times rolling.

From a law of attraction standpoint (or heck, even a physics one) desire attracts more desire, which attracts more desire (an object in motion tends to stay in motion). We begin to create an unquenchable thirst for wealth and possessions. Likewise, if we try to relinquish our desires, particularly where wealth is concerned, do we risk rejecting wealth over and over again to the point of poverty?  

As humans, we cannot expect to lose our desires completely. Desire is what drives us. So how do we balance contentment with the natural human condition of wanting more?

I suppose it has to do with defining, for ourselves, where that middle road lies. (The Middle Way, for anyone wanting to know more about Buddhism, could easily be described as “non-extremism”.) No one else can tell us the best path to follow. It’s up to us to investigate and feel our way to the best solution, knowing that with consistent self-study, quiet introspection and setting our intentions we can accomplish anything (aka, manifest the answer!). We can even strike that delicate Buddhist balance between contentment and desire.

It’s funny because at the start of this year, the one word I chose to describe what I’m seeking is “balance.” Last year I sought love (and found it!). This year, I’m chasing down balance. You can bet that when I find it – whether mental, physical, financial, relational or spiritual – I’ll be telling you all about it.

In the meantime, be well & joyful!