A wonderful friend of mine (well, they’re all wonderful, actually!) gave me a copy of Adyashanti’s The End of Your World on CD last week. I had been hoping to listen to it since March, but wouldn’t have been ready to hear its message until now.
Just like when I listened to Spontaneous Awakening the first time, I can feel a shift happening deep within me.
This particular excerpt offered reassurance on something that until now, I have struggled with:
“…it’s like…life is just waiting to express itself through each being in a totally unique way… And we can never know what…[it is] until we really let go. And in each of us, life is seeking to express itself fully and purely in a way that’s totally unrepeatable… Jesus was not a copy of someone else. Buddha was not a copy of someone else. The great beings that we revere… are not copies of anybody else. They are examples of life freed up from its fixation… and therefore able to express itself through a particular human being and bloom in a totally unique way.
“And somehow we intuitively connect with these beings… And isn’t it ironic that we’re so drawn to that kind of being…and yet what most of us try to do then is copy them? We try to be like the Buddha. We try to be like Jesus. Which is actually in opposition to everything they…were. Jesus wasn’t like anybody. Buddha wasn’t like somebody else. That’s why they resonate with us. They were pure, undistorted expressions of life, itself. Which is what we’re all called to. And yet our minds are so deeply conditioned… [we] think by copying…I also will discover my own uniqueness…
“But if we do that… we become the image our mind has… And any time we are living as an image our mind creates, that life is inherently unfulfilling. It has the essence of fear living in it. And so the fulfillment of the whole journey to awakening – the realizing what we really are – is not simply so that we bask in this wonderful realization of freedom; it’s something far beyond that… It’s so that finally life can express itself through us.”
Earlier in September, I was fortunate enough to guest blog on The Jungle of Life. In his gracious introduction, Lance referenced a post I wrote in July called Being The One. I was surprised when he mentioned it, since at the time I wrote it I remember thinking, “Is anyone going to connect with this?” I woke up one morning with a foggy mind, and was compelled to just sit down at my computer and start typing. It’s as if (don’t laugh) I was channeling something from an imperceptible part of me. It was then that the post birthed itself, and when I was done I thought, “Well, I’m not sure what anyone will think, but I’ll float it out there anyway.” The day it went live, someone very close to me said they thought it was inspired, and they could tell that I was inspired. Again, it surprised me, but I just sort of let it go.
In reference to the Adyashanti excerpt I shared above, I understand what was happening a bit better now. I didn’t try to overthink that post, or manipulate it into something I thought people would want to read. Instead I simply moved out of the way and let awareness take over my mind and body for awhile.
I guess the reason I’m sharing this is because for me, that post represents what is possible when I allow myself to be a unique expression of life. For a half hour that day, I pushed “me” out of the way, and awareness was given a chance to come to life, irrespective of blog writing best practices or anything I’d ever done before.
Unique, unrepeatable, and authentic; I let life express itself through me in those words.
And so as I sit at times, fearful of whether or not I can cut it as a long-term blog writer, let alone a published book writer, I am now reminded that my future success is not dependent on trying to mold myself after anyone or anything else. All I ever have to do is gently push my conscious mind aside and let the unique gift of awareness bloom in whatever space I allow it, knowing that when I do, I’m fulfilling life’s purpose for me.
And truly, in ways I cannot even describe yet, that makes me incredibly joyful.
** ** **
Two great posts I read this past month that I encourage everyone to take a peek at include The Bold Life’s What Really Matters (a phenomenal invitation to think about what’s important and what’s not in life) and The Conservative Buddhist’s What Is It You Want Most From Life (which, admittedly, is from his archives, but a great read nonetheless).
Happy Monday, everyone!