It's All About Joy!

Love Leaves Again

I feel as though I've been woefully absent from the blogosphere in the last week, and for that I'm sorry. So many blogs I've wanted to read, but life stepped in and asked me to be fully present with what was happening outside of my little laptop.

You were all so kind when I asked for advice on love a couple months ago, and shared incredible wisdom that I've kept close at hand. Thank you. (Click here to read that post.)

And once again, as I transition into a new phase in my life - one that sees me leaving behind that very relationship I was excited about - I'm asking for your kindness and understanding. What's more, I'd appreciate any extra positive energy you can send our way, as you can be sure it won't go wasted. 

The nice thing is, our love did not die. If anything, it grew deeper and more pervasive. It's just that he needed to be somewhere that I couldn't be for the foreseeable future, and I wanted something he couldn't give. So he's back overseas, and I stayed in New York.

"...it is ok to want certain things for yourself and not settle for less than that."

On Monday after we said goodbye, I chose to grieve. I spent an entire day in bed, letting myself feel badly and cry, and giving myself permission to cope in old familiar ways. Some of you knew what was going on, and sent your incredibly positive energy my way. For that I'm grateful. I received text messages from one friend every couple hours making sure I had what I needed to get through the day (including offers to make chocolate runs!). I received emails that touched my heart, and some very necessary phone calls. Thank you, to each of you, for sending your love. 

And the next day, I tapped into all of that loving energy and rallied, dragging myself out of bed and throwing the curtains open, because I knew that all endings also mark new and beautiful beginnings.

This is truly a new beginning, and I thank all of you for being the kind, gentle souls you are and reminding me that friends and family are found and made in the most marvelous of ways --- including in the blogosphere! Every one of you touches my life on a regular basis, some without even knowing it. My life is richer because of you.

Feel free to leave a comment if you'd like, but also know it's not necessary on this particular post. Everything is good on this end. I just wanted you all to know that I appreciate you and look forward to getting back out there again to see what you've been up to.

~ With joy & gratitude ~

Giving Our All

There are many times in my life, embarrassingly enough, when I struggle to put my beliefs into practice. Kneejerk reactions sometimes take over and I have to stop myself from getting caught up in the trappings of the egoic mind.

It seems all too easy, for instance, when involved in a relationship with another person – be they a friend, lover, coworker, what-have-you – to meet whatever energy they’re giving off with a similar energy. Let’s say, for example, that the person we love sort of shuts down and closes themselves off for a day. We have a choice as to how we respond:

• Meet their energy with a similarly closed-off energy, or

• Continue giving them our all.

Admittedly, my kneejerk reaction in times like those is to meet the energy I sense with equal energy. “He’s going to close himself off today? Well, I’ll close myself off, too!” But my gosh, what a silly little game that is.

So I sometimes need to remind myself that I’m not a game player, nor do I want to become one (again). Therefore the only other choice I have is to keep giving my all to the best of my ability, despite what’s going on around me.

I’m not always good at doing it, but I certainly try, and I think I’m getting better!

Besides, I’m a big believer in the energy connections we all share, and particularly with those we deeply love. My hope is that when I’m living all out, as fearlessly as possible, the energy rubs off and influences those I’m with, encouraging them to do the same. I also believe that we get what we give, if not from the people we’re currently engaged with, then from another source. So essentially by giving my all, it comes back to me, one way or another.

And that’s the kind of life I’m now interested in living. I’ve spent the greater part of 33 years (or 27, if you ask my very gullible and adorable niece!) living in fear… Caught up in my head to such an extent that many days I couldn’t get out of my own way, even if I had an army of people helping me.

Today, I’d rather live all out, with fearless faith and always coming from a place of love.

What do you think?

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Recommendations? I know someone who is extremely nervous about her health, which stems from a fear of dying. She’s young and healthy, but frequently visits her doctor fearing the worst. She dislikes how anxious she is about her health, yet struggles to overcome the anxiety. One suggestion I made was for her to face her fear of death in a more direct way by reading books that discuss death, which might help her understand it from a new perspective. I think she takes a more traditional view on dying, seeing it as an absolute end instead of a blissful release.

If you know of any good books she could read, would you please leave a comment along those lines? Thank you so much!

What Do You Know About Love?

A new phase of my life opened up recently, and it involves a romantic relationship. In light of this, I wanted to ask everyone who’s reading to share your best wisdom and advice on love, romance, and partnerships, in general. 

I’ll be honest – part of me is scared. One of my major life lessons has been around relationships and while I am excited to have the chance to share intimate time and energy with the person I love, a tiny voice inside of me is apprehensive. That voice worries that this relationship will end like all the others, which is to say it will end. The voice also wonders when I’m finally going to get it right (as I like to joke my mother is probably wondering, too!).

The good news is that over the past year I’ve learned what unconditional love feels like and how it acts. I have a lot more self-awareness now, too, and all the wisdom I’ve gained has allowed me to relate more genuinely to myself, and as a result, to others.

God help me, I hope I have the courage, patience and perseverance to always come from a place of love and understanding in this relationship – both for my own sake and for his. What’s more I pray that God grants him extra patience and perseverance, ‘cause lord knows he’s gonna need it! <wink>

In all of my trial runs up to this point, some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about love are:

• Love doesn’t hurt.
• Love wants for another’s happiness, regardless of what that happiness depends on.
• Love can be physically felt in the chest (our heart chakras).
• Unconditional love is the most powerful energy in the Universe.
• There is no better feeling than being truly and fully loved.
• Love is wise, patient, kind, courageous, fun, supportive, healing, and freeing.
• Love is the reason we are here.

Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom, whether silently or in an open forum by leaving a comment. I appreciate it more than you know.

~ With gratitude ~

 

 

Must Reads: Bloggers I Love

(Part I in what will likely be a long series!)

The best parts of my mornings are sending and receiving email and reading my favorite blogs. The list keeps growing since there is so much good content out there. Every so often I am compelled to just shout from the rooftops how wonderful I think all these people are who write about joy, love, and spirituality.

So consider this post a rooftop, and here’s me shouting some of my favorites:

Peggy at Serendipity Smiles wrote about overcoming her perfectionist tendencies and had this little gem of encouragement in there: “I don’t have to strive for  perfection today, tomorrow or next week. I’m perfect just as I am…I can be a four today, a five tomorrow, a two on Friday.  It’s all good.”
Click to read Dreaming Perfection

Jodi at Joy Discovered wrote about truth – what it is and what it isn’t (and how we frequently mistake non-truths for truth). If you want an eye-opening read, you absolutely have to check out this post. Here’s a great snippet from it, “…how many times have you recounted an incident, and as much as you try to tell only the truth you realize it is quite impossible; you realize that without the other person about whom you are reporting sitting there with you, recounting her side exactly as she experienced it, you don’t actually know the truth. In those situations you realize there is a difference between facts and perceptions.”
Click to read The Truth Will Set You Free

Positively Present always has a fresh energy in what she writes, and this post, in particular, took me all the way back to childhood. See for yourself how growing up is optional.
Click to read Growing Up Is Optional

Nadia at Happy Lotus writes so compellingly and with such peace and love... From day 1, I've been a fan. She wrote a post about the myth of perfectionism, which I loved since I’m a recovering perfectionist. If you find yourself falling into this category, her post is a must-read.
Click to read My Perfection Myth
 
Liara at Dream Builders Australia had the most fantastic post about dis-ease in our bodies, and how to not only view it differently, but in some cases, undo it. If you’ve suffered anything from a cold to emergency surgery, this post has something in it for you.
Click to read 7 Ways to Re-frame Apparent Dis-ease

Mark at The Naked Soul (love that title, by the way!) dissected the topic of self-worth in this post called “What Is Our Value?” Do we use money, love, or other external circumstances to determine how valuable we are? Or can we go inside and recognize that simply by being alive, we’re more worthwhile than we ever dreamed?
Click to read What Is Our Value?

Tess at The Bold Life had a guest blogger (Jan Lundy) who wrote a fabulous post describing how the first 30 minutes of our day sets the tone for how the rest will go. Did you know that? It made me grateful for my morning routine, which is infused with peacefulness and love. Read this to learn how to make more of your days enjoyable, right from the start. (And PS - Tess is also a brilliant writer... so I'll include one of the posts she wrote on Jan's blog here, as well!)
Click to read Mind Fitness: How About a Workout For a Healthy Mind
Click to read 75 Ways to Make The World a Better Place to Be

Oh my God, I laughed so hard when I first read about Millie on Suzen’s blog Erasing the Bored that I nearly fell off my chair. Millie is old, tells it like it is, and isn’t afraid to fart (that’s right… fart!). Please, please, please read this if you want some amazing “living right” advice and also want to laugh.
Click to read Millie Wisdom: Lessons in Living

Lance at The Jungle of Life writes inspiringly and gently, and quite often so succinctly that I’m awed. I absolutely loved this quote he shared from Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, and was greatly encouraged by it. If you’re looking to do what you love or find more meaning in life, read this!
Click to read Sunday Thought for the Day, June 21

Katie at You Can’t Say That on the Internet! is constantly writing from such a space of love – for both her life and her incredible partner, Patty – that I’m moved to tears. The love Katie and Patty share, and how they keep their love growing, is inspirational. The post Joyful Creators is a great testament to how they live their spirituality and love for one another right out loud, and in doing so, positively affect all of us who share this planet with them. Take a look.
Click to read Joyful Creators

And if you like food – to make or to eat – I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Patty’s site, affectionately called The Joyful Chef. I frequently read her step-by-step posts that are full of the most delicious pictures and think, “now I’m hungry.” Best of all, I’ve met Katie and Patty, who live on the opposite coast as me, and they’re even better and more delicious in-person than they are on their blogs! See what Patty’s been up to by reading her latest.
Click to read The Joyful Chef

There are more – my gosh there are more. So please know that this is just a start. I’ll be doing another “Man I love these bloggers” entry in the future and including even more of the fabulous writers who fuel my days and weeks with their brilliance, insights, and love.

For Love Or Money

I had a funny realization about money while running yesterday. It came up because in my life right now, I’m straddling a canyon, of sorts, and every so often I question which side I should be standing on. The two sides are thinking about joy, and the much more reliable feeling joy.

I’m quite a thinker, so you had better believe I intellectualize joy with the best of them. My mind will sometimes even try to convince me that doing certain things are more likely to bring joy than if I don’t do them.

Take going back to work, for example. In January I left a high-paying corporate job because I stopped enjoying it and it didn’t resonate with my authentic self. I didn’t have another job lined up, but I did have something much better: a dream. My dream, you see, is to make a living as a paid writer, spreading joy throughout the world by sharing what I’ve learned via my experiences. Six months ago, I would have even said “well paid writer,” but more and more these days I’d settle for comfortably paid if it means I could keep enjoying life as much as I have been lately.

Lately, my days are filled with only those people and things I love the most, and when I stay in that space of honoring my authentic self – the self that flipped the proverbial bird to Corporate America in favor of a dream – I feel incredible! I feel so good, as a matter of fact, that what used to be chronic migraines have disappeared completely. I laugh more than I ever used to and it bursts out spontaneously (not unlike another person I know and love a great deal). I wake up each morning excited to greet the new day – sometimes as early as 4:30 a.m. And I’ve never felt more grateful than I do now. Every moment feels like a miracle. I’m obligated to no one and nothing except living a life that is rooted in love.

Being the thinker I am, though, and having some very old programs that like to kick in every once in awhile, from time to time I feel guilty about my life. The familiar recording that says, “You should get a job” comes on, reminding me that I was raised to work hard and keep socking money away into a savings account. (I was definitely not raised to quit a good job and live off that savings account ‘just cuz’.)

And yes, sometimes my stinkin’ thinkin’ gets the best of me, hence straddling the canyon and a nasty inner thigh strain I developed as a result (no kidding!). But while on the treadmill yesterday, a thought flashed through my head that I can’t hug money, and lately I’m so in-love with life that I just want to hug everyone and everything! Love bubbles out of me and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever known.

So once I realized that I can’t hug money (or if I did, it wouldn’t hug back), I sort of let go of that guilt once and for all.

Besides, living joyfully is the best salary I’ve ever been paid and I know for certain no dollar amount can be put on feeling good.

** ** **  ** ** **  ** ** **

Soul Meets World had a fabulous post earlier this week that lends credence to what I wrote and felt above. Take a look and be entertained here: http://soulmeetsworld.com/2009/07/fishermans-tale.html

Living the Golden Rule of Love When Others Let Us Down

(Note: This post was initially written last year, but its relevance feels timeless to me.)

Last week, I decided to show up for someone with love. Not just anyone, either. He's a friend of mine, and we had a disagreement a month ago that neither of us have talked about since. As soon as it happened, I tried calling him to talk it through. He wouldn't answer his phone. I left message after message, with no response. Christmas came and went, and still I heard nothing from him. In the meantime, I was upset about our disagreement because from where I was sitting, he couldn't have been more wrong! Part of me wanted to find a way to gently tell him that. After all, there were others involved in the disagreement and they all thought he was wrong, too. Moreover, they were starting to view him differently; he'd done this before, and it was starting to affect his reputation. Usually having a support group helps, but in this case it didn't. I didn't feel right talking to other people about it when all I really wanted to do was talk to the one person directly involved. So, I let it take up space in my head. I gave it a lot of energy and tossed it around every which way. I prepared one speech after another, figuring I'd eventually get the chance to say what was on my mind when we worked things through.

Then one day last week, I was able to step back from it and view things more objectively. I pushed my monkey mind aside, and was able to empathize with what I presumed was my friend's position. I suddenly saw him stuck in a life-long pattern of unconscious suffering that caused him to react to me the way he did. It struck me that our disagreement was not personal. At least, it wasn't personal between us. Instead it was an ongoing battle he's been waging against himself his whole life, and I just happened to show up on the field wearing what he perceived to be enemy's armor.

When I realized this, something even more profound struck me: LOVE HIM. I was so caught up in wanting him to call me - feeling justified that he "should" call me - that I dismissed the golden rule.

Here I was wanting him to love me and talk to me, but I wasn't doing that back. Instead I was busying myself by categorizing all the seemingly righteous indignations I had toward him. I distracted myself by working through imaginary scenarios of how our resolution might some day play out - what I'd tell him and how right I'd feel. Not once, though, did I stop to consider if I could approach him with that same love and understanding I was seeking.

Ah! And there it was. I absolutely wanted love and understanding from him, but I wasn't willing to give it back - or rather, to give it first.

I now know that in order to truly love him, to offer up that glorious unconditional form of the word, I need to accept him in his current state. I need to look at his actions - his anger, defensiveness, freezing me out - and say, "This is part of who he is, and I love him in his entirety." I need to remove my fear and neediness and strip away all of my conditions to loving him and say, "No matter how he acts toward me, I will always love him."

And so that's what I've done. As soon as I had the realization last week, I felt a warm sensation rise up in my chest. I wanted to let him know that I was there for him regardless (so I did). Best of all, I never stopped to think, "What if he doesn't respond?" In love, it doesn't matter.

Love transcends all else. When we show up for others in love, we rise above their bad behaviors (and sometimes our own) and allow ourselves to accept and feel continued warmth toward them regardless of how they act. It's not always easy, but showing up in love is the only way to let joy in, and for me, that's what it's all about.

On Dealing With Loss

Loss is one of the most difficult things in life to deal with. Whether it’s loss of love, loss of a job, death of a loved one, what-have-you, our conscious minds are not wired to easily release our attachment to people and things. Sudden change scares most of us, but truly any kind of change that we’re not the instigators of is bound to concern us.

What do we do next?
Where will we go?
How can we ever replace the person or thing we’ve lost?

I will tell you as someone who’s recently experienced loss that when viewed from another angle, it’s actually quite a lovely thing. Loss gives us an opportunity to explore how our minds work, and choose a new path forward.

Here are four ways I’m currently dealing with loss:

1. First of all, I don’t call it a loss. It’s a gain. The term “loss” is so negative, and anyone who knows me knows that I prefer to put a positive spin on things. So immediately after my partner and I talked about pulling back from our romantic relationship, I told myself that I didn’t lose anything. Instead, I gained everything by having had the chance to experience so many wondrous things with him.

• To begin with, he allowed me to practice unconditional love for the first time in my life.
• On top of that, loving him and being loved by him changed me forever, and for the better. I’m more enlightened and stronger now than I used to be, and it’s through his influence and support that all of it was possible.
• What’s more, his love raised the bar for what I imagined I deserved, love-wise. And my goodness, if it’s not him then God must have someone so far beyond my fondest dreams in store for me that I’m breathless at the thought (because truly, I never thought anyone as good as him, even, was out there).

So again, I didn’t lose; I have only gained.

2. Today is no different than yesterday. Sometimes after a loss, it’s easy to get caught up in the “woe is me” mentality, expecting the days and nights to feel differently in light of such seeming defeat. We want to tell our friends and family about it and lick our wounds. After all, it’s news, right?! We can’t not tell them, and we can’t not think about it, can we? Sure we can. Especially knowing how the law of attraction works. Since we get whatever we think about most, I certainly don’t want to attract more loss into my life. No sir! Instead, I choose to remind myself that I’m a powerful creative force who attracted that man’s wonderful love in the first place. 

Regardless of what happened in my life yesterday – whether I won or whether I lost – the sun still rises and sets today, I still breathe in and out, and I go right on creating. With that in mind, I choose to pick up where I left off and say, “Watch out world, ‘cause the next one is going to be even better!”

3. When the desire to cry arises, I honor it and then move on. Regardless of how high-minded or enlightened I try to be, I’m still a spiritual being having a human experience. So, from time to time I’m overwhelmed by natural feelings of sadness. When I feel the urge to cry, I honor it and cry. However, I don’t stay in that space for very long. After all, as someone who’s observed how our monkey minds work, I know that if I let my conscious mind have its way, it would act out my sadness not only in tears, but in any other way it could so long as it had my full attention. (Like a petulant little child, I’m telling you!) Instead, after a few moments of expressed sadness, I pull back and become a third-party observer and notice that the feelings of sadness originated with a single thought. The thought had to do with loss. The loss was something my conscious mind wanted to attach itself to and make a big deal out of.

“You are that loss, Megan. You’ll never be the same. What are you going to do?!”

Rather than spend any time in that negative space, I redirect my thoughts and choose better-feeling ones. Within seconds, the tears and sadness have dissipated and I feel happier. A very wise woman once said to me, “We don’t have to act out every thought and feeling we have.” Along those lines, I choose to simply honor what comes up, give it the space it needs, and promptly move on!

4. I inspire myself through other people’s success. No matter where I am in my life, there are always people out there who are experiencing the very things I’m still only dreaming about. Rather than feel envious of them for having what I (currently) don’t, I turn to them for inspiration. Like a little kid watching in awe as a favorite movie unfolds on the big screen, I turn to these magical creatures for their insight and encouragement.

In this case – having to do with love – my most recent and best examples of what I aspire to can be found in Portland, OR. That’s where Katie and Patty live. Katie’s blog, “You Can’t Say That on the Internet!” puts beautiful words to the perfection she’s found in loving her wife, Patty. The two of them consistently drench my heart in warmth and fill me with hope as I read their stories of devotion to each other. Through their lives, I know without a shadow of doubt that true and lasting love is not only possible, but it has the potential to get better and better with each passing day. If you’re someone who’s dreaming of “perfect love,” I implore you to read Katie’s blog and become equally inspired. (NOTE: This post, in particular, moved me deeply: http://ucantsaythat.wordpress.com/2009/03/28/miss-peaches/)

Loss needn’t be an end to our happiness, and certainly shouldn’t be anything we let deter us from living the life of our dreams. It is always, however, an opportunity to move ahead stronger and a bit wiser.

As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.”

True Love Lasts Eternal

I’ve been given the gift of knowing true and unconditional love in my most recent relationship. This was the first time in my life that I experienced real love – the kind that means loving for love’s sake, as opposed to loving for a purpose (aka, the “what’s in it for me?” or “I love you if…” syndrome).

I know my love for him was pure and absolute because even though we’ve decided to go our separate ways, my love for him will continue. I honestly believe we were brought together at this point in our lives to teach each other about unconditional love. He was the first person who ever touched my heart in such a way that it felt physically different in my chest, and as a result I was changed.

So no matter where he goes in this world or what he does, I will always love him because true love lasts eternal.

And truthfully, having experienced such miraculous love brings me more joy than I can express.

~ Thank you, Andy ~

Relationship Bliss: Focus On What’s Good

In relationships and in life, it’s easy to get caught up in what we don’t like. As humans I believe we’re hard-wired to look for what’s wrong rather than what’s right. Studies back this up, as the “wrong” stuff could kill us tens of thousands of years ago when modern man first evolved. The “right” stuff, on the other hand, while nice, didn’t ensure our survival.

Somehow I believe we carried the “always looking for what’s wrong” trait with us into modern times. Why else would people spend so much energy on the self-help industry trying to escape their pessimistic, depressed minds in an attempt to learn about and embrace happiness? If happiness were so easy to come by, the world (in my humble opinion) would be a much different place. I’d also be out of a writing job…

But I digress. I remember my former boss recounting a story of how he once asked a behavioral specialist the following question: Why is it we can give our best to our coworkers and friends all day, but when we go home to our partners, they get our worst? The specialist’s response was, “If I knew the answer to that, I’d be a very rich woman.”

True enough, the people we claim to love the most are the ones we tend to treat the worst. I’m not sure the majority of us even do it on purpose. I think it’s treatment by default, a lot of times. 

So how can we turn it around?

I think it helps to look at what happens mentally in the beginning of a relationship. At the start, we’re looking for all the things we like in another person – anything that will help us build a case as to why we’re meant to be with them. Those first few weeks, months or years are wonderful, aren’t they? We ride the chariot of love wherever we go, basking in how great our partner is and telling anyone who will listen about their best qualities. As we focus on their great qualities, more seem to show up. Truly, we’ve found the perfect partner! Then one day, as if anesthesia has unexpectedly worn off, our tolerance drastically changes. Our partner does something we don’t like, and suddenly that’s all we can focus on. We talk to our friends about it, ruminate for hours on end when no one else is around, engage our partner in arguments about it…The relationship shine has rubbed off and all we can see are the cracks and crevices hidden beneath.

There’s a saying that “it’s never just one mouse.” The same goes with anything we find wrong in our partner. It’s like we make it our jobs to seek out their imperfections once that first one shows up. Our focus has shifted off of what’s good to what’s bad, and subsequently more and more bad seems to appear before our very eyes. 

Call it the law of attraction or call it the power of suggestion; either way, whatever we focus on grows. When we notice the bad, more bad shows up. Thankfully, though, when we notice the good, more good shows up.

And that really is one of the biggest keys to relationship bliss: keeping our focus on all of the things we like about our partner. The better we become at that – and the more diligently we work to reverse any “stinkin’ thinkin’” that sneaks its way in – the greater chance we have at lasting happiness with the one we love.

Remember, it’s not what happens to you, but what happens in you that determines joy.

Finally, A Joyful Look At How Men Think (As Written By Steve Harvey): Excerpts From “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”

I heard Steve Harvey talking about his new book on the Ellen show, and within two minutes I knew I wanted to buy this book. He’s not professing to be Dr. Phil or to have done any sort of scientific research on how men think or act, but from the sounds of it, his 52 years toting around the “y” chromosome haven’t been in vain. From the short interview I saw, he’s a guy who just gets it (and subsequently, makes me want to go and get his book!).

Here are some excerpts to hopefully entice you to do the same:

Men are Simple.
“There is no truer statement: men are simple. Get this into your head first, and everything you learn about us in this book will begin to fall into place. Once you get that down, you’ll have to understand a few essential truths: men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make.”

The 90-Day Rule.
“Look, here’s the deal. I used to work at Ford Motor Company. They have a probation period of 90 days. You have to stay on this job for 90 days because they’re going to check you out. They’re gong to see if you work well with others, if you’re on time, if you’re going to do what you say you’re going to do. Then after 90 days, they give you this benefits package… I look at women who meet guys and wind up in an affair – in a relationship with them – physical…in two or three weeks. Three days… what are you doing? Ford Motor Company don’t give away benefits for 90 days! It doesn’t make any sense. And you all have the greatest benefits package…You’re the reason we wake up in the morning. We want one of you! I go to work because of one of you!”

Men Are Either Playing You Or They’re Planning With You.
“You’ve got to know on the first night that you’re talking to this guy what his intentions are. If we see you across the room when we walk over to you, we want something. We’re not coming over there to find out what your future goals are. We don’t care what your hopes for tomorrow are. We saw you, we saw something we wanted, and we’re coming over there to see how much it’s gonna cost to get it. That’s the deal! That is really the truth.

“It’s real simple: we’re either playing with you, or we’re planning with you. We’re only doing one of two things. You want a guy that has a plan for you. If you know you want a serious relationship, you have to state that up front. Or it will run him off. If he goes away, he was only there to play in the beginning. The guy that has something in his head is going to stick around and see how high the bar is and how high he’s gotta climb to get to you. See, too many women got their fence only this high (visually depicts low fence). Lots of guys stepping in their yard…playing in their yard. Messing up your flowers, digging holes…”

The Three P’s.
“Men show their love with the three P’s. If we love you we will Protect, Profess and Provide for you.”

In Summary: Three Things Guys Want From Their Woman.
“To sum up, we’ve got to have these three things – support, loyalty, and sex – from you or we’re going to go.”