It's All About Joy!

7 Steps for Climbing the Staircase to Joy

It is my sincerest pleasure to have the well-known and highly respected author of The Bold Life -- Tess Marshall -- as my guest today. Many of you know Tess from the wise, loving words she shares over at her blog, or from comments she leaves on other blogs throughout our wonderful blogging community. Tess inspires and encourages us to go beyond the safe confines of what we know, asking us to live boldly. If you want to know how she defines that, read her "About" page. Every time I read it, I get shivers and think, "My gosh, this woman is absolutely incredible!" Without further ado, please welcome Tess Marshall and her wisdom today.

“Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.” - Helen Keller

1. Walk Your Talk

Being harmonious in what you think, say and do brings joy. Live your values in transparent honesty. For example, if you blog on wellness--you eat healthy and exercise. If your family is important to you, don't work on evenings and weekends. My daughter and her girlfriend recently visited for four days. I wasn't on Twitter or Facebook. I had a guest on my blog. We experience joy when we decide what is important and live our lives accordingly.

 
"Where there is peace and meditation, there is neither anxiety nor doubt.” - St.Francis of Assisi
 
2. Meditate Regularly
It's the single most important thing you can do, says Deepak Chopra. Sit quietly with your eyes closed for twenty minutes twice a day. My husband and I began meditating together when he lost his job last April. Daily, we asked for guidance. Seven months later he is self-employed with over 100 clients plus contractual work.
 
“I do it for the joy it brings, cause I'm a joyful girl. 'Cause the world owes us nothing, we owe each other the world.” - Ani Difranco
 
3. Live In the Present Moment
Don't dwell in the pain of the past or fear of the future. Enjoy where you are, who you are and what you have, right now, right here. My mom is 89 years old and fell a couple of weeks ago. When I'm tempted to be sad and take on her pain, I remember what Byron Katie says, "It's not your time to suffer."
 
“Joy is increased by spreading it to others.” - Robert Murray McCheyne
 
4. Enjoy Happy Relationships
Accept your family, friends and co-workers as they are and drop your expectations of who you want them to be. Make peace with yourself and be at peace with others. Offer patience and go the extra mile. One of my favorite lessons in A Course In Miracles is "I will judge nothing that occurs today." This lesson works well when I'm tempted to think I know what is best for my adult children.
 
"Be absolutely determined to enjoy what you do." - Gerry Sikorski
 
5. Enjoy Satisfying Work
Don't wait until you have your dream job to be happy at work. Find meaning in what you do today. Take interest in your co-workers, your customers and your employer. Be grateful and go the extra mile. Decide to create meaning in every transaction. Be your best and do your best. Don't delay your joy.
 
I recently began spending 10 hours a week tutoring children that are two to three grades behind in reading. Time flies when we're together. I forget about technology, Twitter followers and my blog ratings. My heart sings with joy as I receive so much more than I give as I create balance in my life.
 
"Joy is the act of grinning inside." - Melba Colgrove
 
6. Activate Your Inner Clown
 Play, laugh more and lighten up. Don't take life too seriously. Spend time with children. Learn to enjoy your own company. You'll be with you for the rest of your life. I recently experienced talking to my eleven-month old grandson on Skype. He attempts to kiss the screen as he giggles with joy.
 
"Joy is not in things. It is in us." - Richard Wagner
 
7. Simplify Your Life

Learn to live with less stuff and know when to say "enough is enough" in every area of your life. This creates time to enjoy simple things like the sun rising, flowers growing and birds singing. We live in a world where no one can seem to get enough. Ask yourself, “Do I spend more time striving or thriving?” Make the adjustments needed in your life depending on your answer.

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Photo credit: Eustaquio Santimano

In Favor of Friendlier Foods

I had the pleasure of watching the movie Food, Inc. last summer. I use the word “pleasure” because this movie found me at exactly the right time, when I was ready to make some food-based changes in my life.

As I continue taking steps to align how I live my life with my spiritual beliefs, Food, Inc. helped me to close more gaps in that regard.

A synopsis of the movie, from the web site:

“In Food, Inc., filmmaker Robert Kenner lifts the veil on our nation's food industry, exposing the highly mechanized underbelly that has been hidden from the American consumer with the consent of our government's regulatory agencies, USDA and FDA. Our nation's food supply is now controlled by a handful of corporations that often put profit ahead of consumer health, the livelihood of the American farmer, the safety of workers and our own environment. We have bigger-breasted chickens, the perfect pork chop, herbicide-resistant soybean seeds, even tomatoes that won't go bad, but we also have new strains of E. coli…. are riddled with widespread obesity, particularly among children, and an epidemic level of diabetes among adults.

“Featuring interviews with…experts…[the movie] reveals surprising—and often shocking truths—about what we eat, how it's produced, who we have become as a nation and where we are going from here.”

When I saw this movie, I was indeed shocked. I hadn’t seen any other movies that were in the same vein as this one, so all of it took me very much by surprise. I used to shop for food based on how much it cost, how low in fat it was, and how good it tasted. Those were my parameters.

Then a few years ago, I learned what high-fructose corn syrup does to blood sugar levels and how it can contribute to obesity and diabetes, so I cut it out of my diet. Watching Food, Inc. taught me quite a few other things that helped me refine my food choices further.

Beyond taking care of myself, I wanted to know how I could start taking care of the world at large through the foods I buy and eat. After all, if I say that love motivates everything I do, how could I continue to overlook something as basic as nourishment?

One of the biggest, saddest lessons I learned from Food, Inc. is just how inhumane and money-hungry the American food industry has become, and unfortunately I now see that I am part of the problem. In order to keep up with consumer demand for more and more food at cheaper and cheaper prices, corporations and the government have taken over our nation’s food supply. They are doing whatever it takes to get us what we’ve demanded: more food for less money. Whatever it takes includes raising billions of animals a year in inhumane conditions and slaughtering them in unconscionable ways (a practice known as factory farming); genetically modifying (GM) plants (an example would be inserting foreign genetic material, like bacterial genes, to produce insecticide in a corn plant); using pesticides that are increasingly linked to cancers, autism and neurological disorders, especially amongst farm workers and their surrounding communities; and more. I encourage you to watch Food, Inc. for yourself if you want to learn more about how our mechanized food industry is running on empty when it comes to love and compassion.

And why is that? It’s so that we can enjoy cheap convenience foods like potato chips, soda pop, microwavable pizza, candy bars, McDonald’s value meals, Chick-fil-A sandwiches, Taco Bell, and so much more.

Consumers are the problem. But we are also the solution.

Despite the movie’s ominous tone, unlike other shockumentaries, this one didn’t just leave its viewers high and dry. After being shown a series of gut-wrenching scenes, I didn’t have to leave the movie thinking things were hopeless. Instead, the movie gave actionable items that every person can do immediately to help turn this situation around.

The most compelling thing I heard in this regard was: Every time we scan an item at checkout, we are casting our vote.

As I mentioned, our system is the way it is because consumers continue to say, “Give me more and make it cost less.” So the food industry bends to our whims, which affects absolutely everything, from how our food is farmed to how it’s delivered in our stores. (Sidenote: If you want to see a really sad story, watch the scenes in the movie about how huge corporations have exploited our nation’s hard working farmers to such an extent that many are forced out of the only business they’ve ever known and sued for millions of dollars. The reasons why will shock you.)

In order to change the way things are, we need to start paying for compassionately produced food. One way to do that is by buying organic products. Yes, they cost more now, but if enough people who can afford it start casting their votes by consuming organically produced foods in large enough quantities, those costs will be driven down so that more and more people can afford them in the future. And if we’re honest, many of us can afford it now. It’s a matter of whether or not we choose to.

Other ways we can cast our vote include:

• Buy free-range, hormone-free meat, eggs and dairy
• Go meatless one or two days a week
• Buy locally produced foods to cut down on the pollution generated from having to truck produce in from thousands of miles away.
• Protect family farms by patronizing farmers markets and food cooperatives
• Cut out sodas and other sweetened beverages that rely on lab-created sweeteners like high-fructose corn syrup, which has been linked to increased rates of obesity and diabetes
• Tell schools to stop selling sodas, junk food, and sports drinks
• Eat at home instead of eating out

I like to call this quiet activism. In order to make a difference in how the food industry is run, we don’t have to storm Washington, DC or take to the streets. Instead we can put our money where our mouths are, and more closely align our spiritual beliefs with one of the most important choices we make every day: how to nourish ourselves.

For me, the best nutrition is that which feeds my body, heart and soul, and which makes a point in trying to affect change on a global scale.

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If this topic interests you, please see what Nadia at Happy Lotus has to say on the subject. She and I agreed to write complementary posts today, and as always, she brings her beautiful energy to this very important subject. Click here to read Nadia's post.

Please also check out Betsy Wuebker's site, Passing Thru, which featured a post last week about un-incorporating our nation's food supply. Click here to read Betsy's post.  

The Ultimate Unknown

Why are we really here? What is the meaning of life?

Those are two questions I pondered for the first time during meditation recently. See, I always used to take what others told me on this topic at face value, and never stopped to wonder for myself. Why? I’m not sure, but maybe it’s because I was happy with the answers I had.

All of my past intellectual pursuits of spirituality have shown me that the following is our reason for existence:

We are spiritual entities that originated from the Divine (aka, the Creator, God, the Universe, or insert any other name that feels comfortable here), and took on a human form to experience the trials and tribulations of living on this planet. Supposedly this planet offers the greatest challenges imaginable, and helps our spirits ascend very quickly, which is the definitive goal. All of the challenges we face offer us lessons on unconditional love, which is what we need in order to ascend.           

As I was meditating this weekend, however, my inquiry took me down this path:

If we originated from the Divine, and some would say that we are Divinity in human form, wouldn’t that also mean that we are Divine intelligence and love? If so, wouldn’t we have already started off ascended? Or underneath it all, aren’t we already what we’re striving to become?  

What benefit is there to having a human body? I don’t know about you, but if it’s true that we came from something all-powerful, omnipresent, and omniscient, I have to question why we’re hanging around in these ill-fitting monkey suits and banging our way through life? It seems like a cosmic waste of time. And what about our brains? I couldn’t help but wonder why, from a spiritual standpoint (not a medical one, because I get that), we need brains to begin with. If we emanate from an all-knowing creative force, how on earth could these paltry little thinking caps – which don’t even function at 100% of their capacity – measure up to the Divine intelligence that supposedly flows through each of us?

Then I began to question how our spirits and brains are connected. Does one drive the other? (And if so, I’d have to assume that our spirits drive our brains.) That got me thinking about people who have had out-of-body and near-death experiences. If someone has had an out of body or near death experience, often they describe themselves as having looked down upon their human forms and having been very aware of what was happening to them at the time. I’ve even heard some people say that once they regained consciousness, they were able to tell the people who were attending to them what was being talked about in the midst of such an event. One woman told her surgeons word for word what all of them were discussing while they operated on her anesthetized body. How on earth does that happen? I mean, when someone has an out-of-body or near-death experience, their brains are unconscious, right? If so, how are they able to process with seeming full awareness what’s going on around them if it’s not their brains doing the processing? (Can you tell that this was a fun meditation?!)

After I worked my way through that line of questioning, I started wondering about the validity of out-of-body and near-death experiences to begin with (please bear with me here). Even though I’ve always been a supporter of this type of thing, who am I to say that these experiences are real? How would I know? How could any of us know? Isn’t it possible that all out-of-body and near-death experiences are the result of chemical misfirings in the brain? There’s so much we don’t know about how our brains work that it seems limiting to label those experiences as being “X” instead of “Y.”

That led me to question if we can ever know anything for certain, which is a theory I’ve embraced before. This time, however, I wasn’t just asserting it after hearing someone else talk about it. I was applying it to this crazy mode of meditative inquiry I found myself entwined in. What I ended up realizing is that none of us has proof of anything in this world beyond a thought that we think. “I think, therefore I am.” The only proof for the things we think would be another thought. So really, there’s no deductive method for proving anything in life beyond the thoughts that we think. Therefore I had to conclude that I could never know the answer to the questions I originally asked: Why are we here? What is the meaning of life?

When I came up against this wall in my meditative inquiry, it’s as if I entered an abyss and crossed the threshold into the ultimate unknown.

 

What do you think? Have you ever thought about these questions before, and if so, where did you end up in your reasoning?

The Magic of Meditation

I’ve been struggling lately, and I’m thrilled to admit that. Who doesn’t like a good struggle after all?! After riding a high from May to September where it was safe to say I was the funkiest, freshest JoyGirl! around, I crashed and burned and became more along the lines of a funked-out JoyGirl. If it had lasted just one day, I could have written it off to bad hair. Unfortunately, this funk had teeth and held on for a few weeks. Egads! (And I still have the bite marks on my thigh to prove it, although unless you’re my boyfriend, y’all can’t see it!)

In those moments when I’m feeling down, it’s not like everything’s wrong in my life. Instead it’s simply that the shine has worn off the apple. My eyes, ears, and mind only perceive the very surfacy things in this world, and that surface is covered in grime. I can’t see through the illusion, get stuck inside my head, my head then overanalyzes everything and takes me down some very scary, dark pathways where lions and tigers and bears hide out (oh my!).

Definitely not a fun place to be.

When I’m in those moments, I tend to call on the Universe (God, the angels, Auntie Em, anyone who will listen) in a very separate – and desperate – way, “Please send me a sign. Please give me something to let me know it will all be okay.” On the contrary, when I’m feeling blissful, I recognize that I am one with the Universe, so everything around me is a sign and I work in tandem with God, creating magic on a daily basis.

But I digress. Back to that sign I asked for. It came from a new blog I started reading a month ago. If you haven’t seen what Stacey Shipman’s up to over at her blog, I encourage you to check it out. She’s a great writer with a very open, loving, and wonderfully discerning viewpoint that’s strongly aligned with spirituality and all things yoga. Interestingly, her web site crashed a few weeks ago, and she had to rebuild it. As a result, because I’m on her email subscription list, I was getting old posts blasted to me as she restored her archives.

Well, the other night I was pretty much at the end of my rope emotionally. Just before I went to sleep, however (and a few hours after asking for a sign), I heard my email beep indicating that I had a new message. My inbox had been pretty bare that day, so of course I checked it out and saw that it was an archived post from Stacey Shipman's site. The moment I read the title, though, I knew it was so much more. It was the Universe talking to me, or rather, extending a helping hand. Here’s a snippet:

When Meditation Helps Find Clarity

"...  Will she continue to meditate regularly? That I don’t know. I hope she remembers the success of this experience and reaches for meditation the next time she needs it instead of…something else.

"Life doesn’t always hand us easy to solve problems, sometimes more time and more action is needed. Often a little peace and quiet – sitting without any distraction – can help, even if you only have a few minutes. Sometimes it’s that stirring within that needs to be stirred and released, not stuffed, in order to ‘let it flow’ and continue moving in a forward direction."

Ah, meditation. The thing I’d been abandoning for a few weeks in favor of rushing around like a madwoman. The thing that always seemed to drop to the bottom of my to-do list, even though other activities like two-hour workouts, watching Conan O’Brien, reading my favorite books, or other such varied nonsense got my full attention.

Suddenly I understood that meditation would point me back in that wonderfully blissful direction and get me off of those scary paths I’d unwittingly chanced upon.

Meditation.

Meditation.

Meditation.

15 minutes here, 12 minutes there… 8 minutes is fine, too. As Stacey said, “Often…sitting without any distraction…can help, even if you only have a few minutes. Sometimes it’s that stirring within that needs to be stirred and released…in order to ‘let it flow’ and continue moving in a forward direction."

And so it was for me.

I’m thrilled to say that the funky fresh JoyGirl! is back, and it only took twelve minutes of quietude and introspection. All I can say is, “There’s no place like joy… There’s no place like joy…”

Oh, and also a huge thank you to Stacey!

The Unique Gift Awakening Brings

A wonderful friend of mine (well, they’re all wonderful, actually!) gave me a copy of Adyashanti’s The End of Your World on CD last week. I had been hoping to listen to it since March, but wouldn’t have been ready to hear its message until now.

Just like when I listened to Spontaneous Awakening the first time, I can feel a shift happening deep within me.

This particular excerpt offered reassurance on something that until now, I have struggled with:

“…it’s like…life is just waiting to express itself through each being in a totally unique way… And we can never know what…[it is] until we really let go. And in each of us, life is seeking to express itself fully and purely in a way that’s totally unrepeatable… Jesus was not a copy of someone else. Buddha was not a copy of someone else. The great beings that we revere… are not copies of anybody else. They are examples of life freed up from its fixation… and therefore able to express itself through a particular human being and bloom in a totally unique way.

“And somehow we intuitively connect with these beings…  And isn’t it ironic that we’re so drawn to that kind of being…and yet what most of us try to do then is copy them? We try to be like the Buddha. We try to be like Jesus. Which is actually in opposition to everything they…were. Jesus wasn’t like anybody. Buddha wasn’t like somebody else. That’s why they resonate with us. They were pure, undistorted expressions of life, itself. Which is what we’re all called to. And yet our minds are so deeply conditioned… [we] think by copying…I also will discover my own uniqueness… 

“But if we do that… we become the image our mind has…  And any time we are living as an image our mind creates, that life is inherently unfulfilling. It has the essence of fear living in it. And so the fulfillment of the whole journey to awakening – the realizing what we really are – is not simply so that we bask in this wonderful realization of freedom; it’s something far beyond that…  It’s so that finally life can express itself through us.”

Earlier in September, I was fortunate enough to guest blog on The Jungle of Life. In his gracious introduction, Lance referenced a post I wrote in July called Being The One. I was surprised when he mentioned it, since at the time I wrote it I remember thinking, “Is anyone going to connect with this?” I woke up one morning with a foggy mind, and was compelled to just sit down at my computer and start typing. It’s as if (don’t laugh) I was channeling something from an imperceptible part of me. It was then that the post birthed itself, and when I was done I thought, “Well, I’m not sure what anyone will think, but I’ll float it out there anyway.” The day it went live, someone very close to me said they thought it was inspired, and they could tell that I was inspired. Again, it surprised me, but I just sort of let it go.

In reference to the Adyashanti excerpt I shared above, I understand what was happening a bit better now. I didn’t try to overthink that post, or manipulate it into something I thought people would want to read. Instead I simply moved out of the way and let awareness take over my mind and body for awhile.

I guess the reason I’m sharing this is because for me, that post represents what is possible when I allow myself to be a unique expression of life. For a half hour that day, I pushed “me” out of the way, and awareness was given a chance to come to life, irrespective of blog writing best practices or anything I’d ever done before.

Unique, unrepeatable, and authentic; I let life express itself through me in those words.

And so as I sit at times, fearful of whether or not I can cut it as a long-term blog writer, let alone a published book writer, I am now reminded that my future success is not dependent on trying to mold myself after anyone or anything else. All I ever have to do is gently push my conscious mind aside and let the unique gift of awareness bloom in whatever space I allow it, knowing that when I do, I’m fulfilling life’s purpose for me.

And truly, in ways I cannot even describe yet, that makes me incredibly joyful.

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Two great posts I read this past month that I encourage everyone to take a peek at include The Bold Life’s What Really Matters (a phenomenal invitation to think about what’s important and what’s not in life) and The Conservative Buddhist’s What Is It You Want Most From Life (which, admittedly, is from his archives, but a great read nonetheless).

Happy Monday, everyone!

Runners, Bloggers and the Power of Applause

Yesterday morning was a stellar fall morning here in Western New York. The sun was out, Canadian geese were honking as they flew overhead, the perfect 65 degree-temperature was underscored by a slight breeze, and from where I stood I could see some leaves falling off trees in the distance.

I was perched atop a bridge in a quaint village overlooking what would turn out to be more than 500 marathon runners on a canal trail below me who, at mile fifteen and a half, were two hours into their run. I stood in awe at first, as I realized that the people I watched had been moving their bodies nonstop since 7:30 a.m. I was waiting to catch a glimpse of my older brother, a seasoned marathon runner, who stayed overnight with me to participate in the race.

At first, I just waited and watched, but then slowly began clapping for the two, three, and sometimes five or six runners at a time passing below me. I felt funny at first, since the cars traveling on the road behind me couldn’t see the small waves of people for whom I was clapping. All they could see was a strange girl standing by herself on a bridge, smiling and banging her hands together. Eh, such is life.

I figured once I saw my brother, snapped a picture of him and did some cheering, I could leave; in and out in fifteen minutes. But a funny thing happened when I realized the impact I was having on others. Now, I’ve run a few road races myself, and remember how good it feels to see spectators clapping and cheering me on when I pass. Even if it’s just one person, their enthusiasm energizes me.

So as I stood there clapping yesterday and saw the same good feeling spreading across the faces of the runners who looked up and caught a glimpse of me, I realized I didn’t want to leave. Even after I saw my brother, I stayed on top of that bridge for the next hour supporting each runner who made their way past.

Many shouted “thank you!”, a couple made jokes like “don’t jump!”, and many more smiled gigantic smiles that filled my heart with love. I had gone to the bridge to support my brother, but stayed so I could keep sending as much positive energy and encouragement to each amazing runner as possible, no matter how long it took. After all, I’d been in their shoes before, and knew the power of applause.

That’s when it dawned on me that I feel the same way about blogging. I’ve been very fortunate to have an incredible group of readers and commenters visiting here each week. (Thank you, each of you, from the bottom of my heart) As a result, I try to visit the blogs of anyone who comments to show equal support. After all, there was a time when no one commented on this blog. The day that changed, I remember how extraordinary it felt. So with every new name that appears, I aim to make my way to their corner of the world so I can see what they have to say. It fills my heart with joy to be able to do so. In many cases, I’m blown away by how much I like each new blog I discover. I invariably end up adding them to my ever-increasing reading list, so what started off as five or six regular blogs I follow has grown to more than 30. Sometimes I think, “You can’t possibly have time to read each one of those and make thoughtful comments,” and yet that’s just what I try to do. Each blog gives me a chance to learn something new about myself, and just like clapping on that bridge yesterday I consider it an honor.

So for everyone who puts on their best blogging shoes and heads out the door into the wild world of web writing, thank you. You are me, I am you, and it’s never been a more beautiful day to stand where I’m standing and cheer you on.

It’s a Jungle Out There

It’s All About Joy! just got a little more joyful. Lance over at The Jungle of Life invited me to be a guest blogger on his site, which thrills me to no end (thank you, Lance!). So please throw on your sassiest (sexiest?) jungle garb and meet me over there. Comments will be closed on this site in the meantime.

Click here to enter the Jungle

Click here to enter the Jungle

Click here to enter the Jungle

☺

Giving Freely

Still Working to Put My Money Where My Mouth Is

I still have lessons to learn around giving without expectation. It’s rather funny how I tested myself recently in this regard.

A couple weeks ago I was having coffee with a friend and we were talking about people who ask for money on the streets. My friend preferred to buy the person a meal rather than give them cash. My opinion was the opposite. He was afraid of feeding their addiction by giving them money without knowing what they’d use it for. I told him I felt like it was none of my business; if I had what they needed and wouldn’t suffer by giving it to them, it was theirs to do with as they pleased.

My friend shook his head initially when I said that. He didn’t feel right supporting a drug addiction or alcohol problem. I told him that was all right for him. For me, though, I wouldn’t feel right asking someone to justify himself or herself when God knows I’m not above reproach. If they’re addicted, well so am I! Everyone is addicted to something. I don’t care if it’s drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes, approval, love, fitness, drama – it doesn’t matter! We’re all addicts. The egoic mind is the biggest addict imaginable.

From that perspective, the minute I say that my addiction is healthier or more acceptable than your addiction, it’s all over for me from an unconditional love standpoint. 

The very next day, I was given a chance to walk my talk where giving freely without judgment was concerned. I was on a city street with a different friend and we were approached by a guy who needed money. He had a whole story ready for us about how his car broke down, he needed money to buy a gas can, his daughter was with him in the car, etc. Both my friend and I asked how much the can would cost and he told us $9. We each gave him a few dollars. Without a thank you or anything else, he looked at us and said, “This isn’t enough! What am I going to do for the rest?”

At that point I found myself thinking, “Well how do you like that? We give him some money and all he can do is focus on what’s missing. Man, that just stinks.” Not ironically, it became clear to me that the very thoughts I was thinking were also centered on what was missing (his “thank you”). Funny how that works!

At that point I just sighed because I knew I had manifested an encounter with that guy, and I failed the very test I set up for myself. Rather than give him money happily, regardless of his reaction, I attached an expectation to it. I wanted a “thank you.” When I didn’t get one, I ran an alternate scenario through my head where I would have continued standing in front of him after he said, “It’s not enough!” and said, “How about a thank you? No? Well feel free to give back the money then.” (Again, big sigh.)

Funnier still, after I returned home that evening and checked my email, I had a notice in my inbox from an ad network I’m affiliated with telling me how much I earned during the last quarter. I saw it and thought, “That’s it?! That’s not enough!” (Are you rolling your eyes at me right now? I’d love to know, since I did, once the irony struck me 30 seconds later!) Yep, and checking the time on the email it would have corresponded to the same time I was dealing with my (now) friend on the street.
He was me; I was him. And man, what a lesson he taught me.

God help him, I hope he’s a quicker study than I am.

Be well, be joyful, and as best you can, give of yourself freely today!
 

Priceless Gift Giving

A couple weeks ago I was invited to my friend’s 4-year old son’s birthday party. When I went shopping for a gift, I found one that I liked and then another that I really liked. I liked the second gift so much that I wanted to open it up and play with it right there in the store! I restrained myself, though, and decided to buy both gifts since neither was very expensive.

As I went to wrap them, however, a thought went through my mind, “Why are you giving him both gifts? He’s going to be getting a lot of gifts at the party – more than he could possibly play with or even be aware of. Give him the one you really like, and then hold onto the other for a later date.”

Then a follow-up thought went through my mind, “If you only give him one gift, which is kind of small, what will people think?" This was immediately followed by the answer, "They’ll think you’re cheap!”

And then a third thought floated through, “Bah, I don’t care about that stuff… Besides, this one gift is really neat, and I think he’ll like it a lot. Being a kid, he’s not going to judge me one way or the other for how big or small my gift was. He’s going to remember how much fun he had, and that’s what it’s all about.”

With that I ended the tennis match inside my head and ruled in favor of giving just one gift. I had to laugh, though, because I can’t imagine I’m alone in moments like those. I have to believe that other people hang on to similar sentiments regarding the unwritten cost minimum attached to gift giving. If you don’t spend at least $XX on a gift, clearly you don’t care for the person. And the more money you make, the more expensive your gifts should be. Additionally, if in buying one gift you haven’t reached said cost minimum, you must buy and give another gift until the minimum is reached. That’s the only way to be looked upon as a good gift giver.

Egads, how pointless that seems to me now (and yet don’t you love how I let myself get caught up in a mental tennis match about it just two weeks ago?!).

The more I grow, the more I realize that the best gifts are priceless:

• warm hugs from friends,
• an encouraging email,
• an unexpected compliment,
• my niece grabbing my hand and kissing it,
• a homemade meal,
• being called “sweetheart” or “darling” by the one I love,
• a really thoughtful card with a handwritten note,
• positive thoughts & prayers, or
• my friend’s two little kids running around their yard screaming, “Chase me, Megan! Chase me!”

Even as a kid, my best memories didn’t involve things. They involved the experiences I had while playing with things. I had as much fun playing with hand-me-down toys as I did with brand new toys. Same goes for playing outside, whether it was climbing trees, jumping in leaves, hop-scotching up and down the sidewalk, or bouncing balls off the garage door.

Experiences are the real value in life, and even if as an adult I sometimes forget this very important point, kids always seem to get it.

So here’s to recognizing that the best things in life, as the old saying goes, are free, and you know what, sometimes so are the best gifts!

*** *** *** ***
Small Can Be Big is an organization I recently saw an ad for. They caught my attention because of how they structure and do things. From their web site:

“SmallCanBeBig.org is a new online model for charitable giving designed to help local families on the brink of homelessness by harnessing the power of small, direct donations. The site works with well-regarded Massachusetts charities to identify families in need and provide people who’d like to give a uniquely personal way to help – 100% of every donation goes directly to address a specific expense or urgent bill that gets a family back on their feet, so donors know exactly who they’re giving to and how their money makes a difference.”

Regardless of where you live, if you’re interested in helping those in need and giving whatever you can please visit them today at www.smallcanbebig.org.

Must Reads: Bloggers I Love

(Part I in what will likely be a long series!)

The best parts of my mornings are sending and receiving email and reading my favorite blogs. The list keeps growing since there is so much good content out there. Every so often I am compelled to just shout from the rooftops how wonderful I think all these people are who write about joy, love, and spirituality.

So consider this post a rooftop, and here’s me shouting some of my favorites:

Peggy at Serendipity Smiles wrote about overcoming her perfectionist tendencies and had this little gem of encouragement in there: “I don’t have to strive for  perfection today, tomorrow or next week. I’m perfect just as I am…I can be a four today, a five tomorrow, a two on Friday.  It’s all good.”
Click to read Dreaming Perfection

Jodi at Joy Discovered wrote about truth – what it is and what it isn’t (and how we frequently mistake non-truths for truth). If you want an eye-opening read, you absolutely have to check out this post. Here’s a great snippet from it, “…how many times have you recounted an incident, and as much as you try to tell only the truth you realize it is quite impossible; you realize that without the other person about whom you are reporting sitting there with you, recounting her side exactly as she experienced it, you don’t actually know the truth. In those situations you realize there is a difference between facts and perceptions.”
Click to read The Truth Will Set You Free

Positively Present always has a fresh energy in what she writes, and this post, in particular, took me all the way back to childhood. See for yourself how growing up is optional.
Click to read Growing Up Is Optional

Nadia at Happy Lotus writes so compellingly and with such peace and love... From day 1, I've been a fan. She wrote a post about the myth of perfectionism, which I loved since I’m a recovering perfectionist. If you find yourself falling into this category, her post is a must-read.
Click to read My Perfection Myth
 
Liara at Dream Builders Australia had the most fantastic post about dis-ease in our bodies, and how to not only view it differently, but in some cases, undo it. If you’ve suffered anything from a cold to emergency surgery, this post has something in it for you.
Click to read 7 Ways to Re-frame Apparent Dis-ease

Mark at The Naked Soul (love that title, by the way!) dissected the topic of self-worth in this post called “What Is Our Value?” Do we use money, love, or other external circumstances to determine how valuable we are? Or can we go inside and recognize that simply by being alive, we’re more worthwhile than we ever dreamed?
Click to read What Is Our Value?

Tess at The Bold Life had a guest blogger (Jan Lundy) who wrote a fabulous post describing how the first 30 minutes of our day sets the tone for how the rest will go. Did you know that? It made me grateful for my morning routine, which is infused with peacefulness and love. Read this to learn how to make more of your days enjoyable, right from the start. (And PS - Tess is also a brilliant writer... so I'll include one of the posts she wrote on Jan's blog here, as well!)
Click to read Mind Fitness: How About a Workout For a Healthy Mind
Click to read 75 Ways to Make The World a Better Place to Be

Oh my God, I laughed so hard when I first read about Millie on Suzen’s blog Erasing the Bored that I nearly fell off my chair. Millie is old, tells it like it is, and isn’t afraid to fart (that’s right… fart!). Please, please, please read this if you want some amazing “living right” advice and also want to laugh.
Click to read Millie Wisdom: Lessons in Living

Lance at The Jungle of Life writes inspiringly and gently, and quite often so succinctly that I’m awed. I absolutely loved this quote he shared from Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, and was greatly encouraged by it. If you’re looking to do what you love or find more meaning in life, read this!
Click to read Sunday Thought for the Day, June 21

Katie at You Can’t Say That on the Internet! is constantly writing from such a space of love – for both her life and her incredible partner, Patty – that I’m moved to tears. The love Katie and Patty share, and how they keep their love growing, is inspirational. The post Joyful Creators is a great testament to how they live their spirituality and love for one another right out loud, and in doing so, positively affect all of us who share this planet with them. Take a look.
Click to read Joyful Creators

And if you like food – to make or to eat – I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Patty’s site, affectionately called The Joyful Chef. I frequently read her step-by-step posts that are full of the most delicious pictures and think, “now I’m hungry.” Best of all, I’ve met Katie and Patty, who live on the opposite coast as me, and they’re even better and more delicious in-person than they are on their blogs! See what Patty’s been up to by reading her latest.
Click to read The Joyful Chef

There are more – my gosh there are more. So please know that this is just a start. I’ll be doing another “Man I love these bloggers” entry in the future and including even more of the fabulous writers who fuel my days and weeks with their brilliance, insights, and love.